TimHowey.Com

To the Anonymous Person...

Dear "Anonymous-Person-Who-Wants-Me-To-Do-Matthew-18-For-You,"

I got your note. I hear your heart. I can relate to your apprehension.

Unfortunately, I cannot do Matthew 18:15-18 for you. To do so would be an act of two unhealthy things:

• Depriving you of the chance to grow
• Disobeying God myself

If you need help preparing for such a meeting, that's what the church is for -- to equip you! If it goes south during the process, that's what the church is for -- to support you!

With Love,

Tim

Drained to the Last Drop (& Co-Dependency)

This week was one of the most intense & emotionally-draining of my life. (I crashed every night this week in a hotel room around 9pm, drained of every ounce of physical, emotional, & spiritual strength.)

This week also may well be the beginning of answers to a boatload of situations I've been bringing up to God. (It certainly kick-started the process in supernatural ways -- making progress in ways I never could myself.)

For reasons of confidentiality (not mine, but another's), there are certain things I can share, & certain things I can't.  Here are things I've taught before, I saw this week, & I was reminded of again in a big way:

• Sin destroys lives & relationships
• Fear destroys lives & relationships
• When you stuff, or swallow, or ignore your feelings, you hurt yourself & those you love
• True growth requires a continuous series of courageous acts (#1 being recognizing your own fears as valid, and being willing to share them)
• If you want power over something, you must bring it into the light (& if you want it to keep controlling you, keep it hidden)
• The very act of revealing something to another person causes it to lose some control over you
• You can't want someone else to grow more than they want to grow themselves (it'll destroy both you and them)
• The only thing that you can focus on is growing yourself (and there's always more work to do there)
• Cowardice limits growth
• Communication requires a set of skills that can be learned -- but it requires intentional development & constant attention
• Sometimes, when people think they're helping, they're not! -- they're actually enabling further dysfunction
• "Helpers" are often blind to the fact that their "help" is actually hurting the very person they want to help!
• The most important relationship work may drain you of every ounce of strength -- but it's all so very worth it
• There's always hope

I was also reminded this week of the story "The Prodigal Son" (Luke 15). It reminded me so much of how someone breaks the cycle of Dependency & Co-Dependency in a healthy way. If you haven't heard those terms before:

• "Dependency" is basically when a substance and/or behavior exercises destructive control over you. Dependency is often connected with distorted thinking, deception, & denial.
• "Co-Dependency" is basically the compulsion to help a person who is "dependent." Co-dependent people often start with best heart & best intentions. However their "help" ends up hurting the very person they are trying to help! In other words:
  
  • Co-Dependent people are sincere
  • Co-Dependent people care
  • Co-Dependent people are just "trying to help"
  • Co-Dependent people see someone make bad decisions
  • Co-Dependent people start to fear the consequences of the other person's actions
  • Co-Dependent people try to shield them from the consequences of their own behaviors
  • Co-Dependent people start doing things for others that the others should be doing for themselves
  • Co-Dependent people begin to wear themselves out because they are trying to run their own life and the other person's life
  • Co-Dependent people eventually grow frustrated with the person they're trying to help
  • Co-Dependent people see the person they're trying to help get frustrated with them
  • Co-Dependent people end up helping the other person get worse (which is the opposite of what they want!)
    
  • Co-Dependent people are often totally blind to this ("But I'm only trying to help/protect them!")
  • Co-Dependent people often have no idea that they are helping it get worse

But the story of "The Prodigal Son" (Luke 15) is awesome! Here's a parent who decided that, although he loved his son so much, he could not make his son's decisions for his son. (After all, his son was an adult!) So he did the only thing he could do. He let his son make his own choices, suffer his own consequences, and get to the point that his son wanted the help. Now to do this, the parent had to deal with his own fears of the relationship being severed & his son really, really hurting himself. But when his son was ready for a change, the parent went running to him to help him make his own, new, right decisions.

That's wholeness.

That's Christ-likeness.

That's Biblical.

That's freedom.

Revelation Series

TONIGHT, we are kicking off a series on Revelation called "2012...and the End of Time."  This is THE SERIES to invite your friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers!!

We also launch a 5th service today, now offering two on Saturday (5 & 6:30p). We're hoping a BOATLOAD of you worship in Saturday service, serve in the other, and sleep in for Jesus!

All our services offer Children's Ministry. In addition, Saturday volunteers can pack a snack/meal for their child to eat between services.

Don't miss this weekend. Forward 2012ItsOver.com to your family & friends. We'll see you there!

Waiting is Hard

Speaking of waiting, waiting can be hard!

 

Register for our Men's Quarterly Breakfast! (Sat 7/23)

Have you registered for this quarter's Men's Breakfast Fellowship yet?  (It's Sat, July 23, 7:30-9:00 a.m. at Grace.) It is one of the most rewarding 90 minutes you can spend -- great food, new friends, helpful messages. And you're back home before the weekend starts!

Our speaker is our new Spiritual Development Pastor, Phillip Kelley.  Phillip grew up in Spring Hill, KS and went to Liberty University on a full baseball scholarship. In his freshman year he felt the calling of God to hang up the spikes and go into pastoral ministry. Phillip returns to Kansas after being the Senior Pastor of a 1,000 member church in Kentucky. His special message to Grace Men will be one you won't forget.

Cost is only $5 per man. And bring your son! He's a man too! (I always bring mine!)

Please confirm you're coming by emailing  Men@graceks.org 

Lessons from the Roller Coaster

I cannot thank everyone enough for their prayers for my family at this time. We're trust God for some big things. And we have absolutely no idea how it will turn out. It's awesome!!!

But I wanted to share what we're learning:

• Grace Church is AWESOME -- Our church family is filled with people of every race & walk of life who are passionate about Christ and prayer & incredibly supportive of us at every step along the way.
• Adoption is a Roller Coaster -- Make no bones about it. One day you think it's on. Two days later you think it's off. Two days later... It just doesn't stop.
• Premature Labor is Common -- We've received so many encouraging notes and comments about other people's journey through premature labor. There are a lot of children running around & you'd never know they were so at risk during premature labor or premature birth.
• God is Good -- We have this peace & calm that ONLY comes with prayers (ours and yours). So thank you.

I've got so many other thoughts being developed in me but I want to hold off a bit to share those.

I love you all & keep praying!!!

It's Not Too Late!!!

It's not to late to invite your friends, family, classmates, & coworkers to Easter at Grace this weekend. Here's the schedule:

• Saturday
  • 3:00p - Easter Egg Hunt & Carnival
  • 5:00p - Worship #1
  • 6:30p - Worship #2
• Sunday
  • 8:00a - Worship #3
  • 9:30a - Worship #4
  • 11:00a - Worship #5

As Pam Turner wrote me, "Be a V.I.P. -- Volunteer, Invite, & Pray!"

 

Easter 2011 from Grace Church on Vimeo.

Asherah to Easter?

I mentioned yesterday that the "Baals and Asherahs" mentioned in Judges 3:7 were both an individual god & goddess as well as a "catch-all" for male gods & female goddesses.  I also mentioned there might well be  a link between Asherah & Easter.

Although I don't ascribe to every wikipedia entry, you can read about it the connection here:

• Asherah
• Ishtar
• Eostre
• Easter

Should we stress about it it? Freak out with fear? No! We should use the Western celebration of Easter to point people to Jesus's death & resurrection!

Superchick Concert

We will be hosting a concert this weekend as well as a unique FREE pre-show skater event.  Check out the flyer and video below.  Stop by the church to pickup your ticket to the concert.  General Admission is $15 and VIP is $2o which gets you early entry, a pre-show Q&A with the bands, a limited edition tour badge and a color tour poster.  You can also purchase your tickets online.

 

 

  

Wrong Phone Number

I got this email from Jack, a friend of mine at Grace, who shared his faith by texting this week.

"I was sitting in the doctors office waiting today when the following text exchange took place:

   - [From an unknown number I got] God I hate this class

   - [I responded] This is not GOD - infact I think you may have text the wrong number - not sure what GODS number is but I know he loves you and desires to have a relationship with you through his son Jesus Christ

   - [He responded] OMG - you are weird - ha ha - its logan

   - [I responded] Once again - I do not know a Logan but I know GOD does - he made you - have you given your life to him - he sent his son to die for you -

   - [He responded] ummmm okky

End of text - but thought you might get a kick"